What’s the difference between a Wife and a Mother?

I have asked our Heavenly Father this question on a few different occasions, especially when can’t get along with my husband, or I am frustrated over an argument we just had. I know there is soooo much information on this subject from various teachers (google it 😮) and it is all very good, but I needed Father to speak to my heart in a way that I could grasp and understand. This is ultimately what I recommend we all do, develop that personal relationship with him. I have no doubt he guides my path, albeit sometimes I choose to go my own way first. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Learning and growing is all part of the process and it’s a beautiful thing!

Anyway, here is where I get hung up… because I often hear the Holy Spirit tell me that I am not my husbands mother, and I am not his teacher. Now, I can breakdown the teacher thing. I know that Holy Spirit is letting me know it’s ok to slip some wisdom from the WORD in when our conversation permits, but I don’t need to sit down and lecture my husband like he’s in class, if you catch my drift. I’m sure we are all a little guilty of that 🙋🏻‍♀️ and thankfully, it’s not our role! Now that I have a better understanding of that, it’s really quite freeing, for the both of us!!

The place I struggled with the most, and where the line gets blurred, is how do I transition between wife and mother, when I am both, every day?? Like it should be obvious, right? We can “define” both of these roles individually, but how do you walk them out individually?

I was reminded, by those very definitions, that a Mother… starts you out in life, right? They teach you all the basics, they nuture you, protect you, guide you… Ultimately they are the ones who take care of your basic needs.. Physical, Emotional, and sometimes even Spiritual. But there comes that time, when we grow up, and become mature and capable of doing those things on our own (hopefully that’s the goal) This is why the Bible tells us in Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”.

So… our husbands eventually “leave” their mother, like not physically walk away and never see her again, no, that’s not it, but what he leaves are those attributes of a mother, and begins to form a new type of bond , as “one flesh” with his wife!

Now, this may sound crazy… and foreign to most people, but I assure you that I believe this is what our Father spoke to me regarding being a wife. As a wife, I am not Mandated or even Obligated to do everything for my husband, because he had a mother (or perhaps father) that already taught him to be self sufficient, and he is capable of caring for his own basic needs. Now, I can definitely choose to do those things, and often times I do. But what my husband needs and values more then me folding his laundry and making him a sandwich, is when I come along side of him, as a “Helpmate”, in the day to day activities of life…. helping him to fulfill his role of Leadership in our family (this is true submission, ladies), to help him fulfill his God-given purpose by listening, encouraging, respecting and loving him. This means that I have the ability also to offer wisdom and advice as necessary, to weigh in on decisions and work in unity …co-labor together with God and each other.

You see, not feeling like I have to be my husbands “mother” frees me from the nagging and complaining that I otherwise would engage in, and renews my mind to the fact that I am his friend, his lover and someone he can confide and trust in. We have children, and I AM a Mother also, but I only have to take on a mothers role with our kids!! Hallelujah

Will we always do everything right? Probably not… but we are constantly working toward the way our Father would have us go.

Isaiah 54:5  For your Maker is your husband, the Lord Almighty is his name, the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.

Ladies… When you know that you are loved of our father, and that he, your maker, is your husband…. that LOVE will translate to your own earthly husband, because he is a blessing and a gift given to you out of that pure love ❤️

1 PETER 3. In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live 2when they observe your pure, reverent lives. 3Don’t let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes, 4but rather what is inside the heart  — the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also adorned themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands, 6just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children when you do what is good and do not fear any intimidation.

All My Love - Trish